This is a bizarre period we're going through. The world is facing a pandemic; we are home quarantined and some of us are missing our friends and campus life. In these times of distress, even if we want to approach people for help, it has become difficult for us to do so. It may be a worthwhile exercise to just step back and simply understand what people are troubled with and which possible measures could help ourselves or others cope with these issues.
Understanding Relationships
In one of our previous articles, we shared the story of Ajit and Joy.
Joy's Story
Joy is a first-year student. His parents' relationship is getting worse; they are always arguing over small things and sometimes even shout at each other. Due to all this stress of uncertainty for the future and panic due to coronavirus, his family is falling apart. He feels trapped and helpless in his own home.
Many questions came to our minds while reading the previous article. What are the essential features to maintain a healthy relationship? How hard is the quarantine hitting our relationships? How to manage various difficulties that come along with relationships?
Building Healthy Relationships
We should acknowledge that we cannot build any relationship in a day or two. It is cumulative of efforts made during the time spent together, past feelings, and current state. If there is some hasty feeling in the relationship and if it is essential for us to maintain the relationship, then we can try to focus on the good memories associated with it and subside the negative feelings.
We can understand that it is easy to preach but difficult to practice. If relationships turn sour, they can completely churn us from within. One voice from within is telling us about the negative aspects of the person, whereas the other is constantly reminding us of the importance of that person in our life. In such a situation, we should try to reflect upon the relationship and, if it is essential for us to maintain the relationship, then we can try accepting the failures and non-perfection of the other person without being judgmental about them.
"Abandoning judgment allows others to be open about their feelings in a relationship."
Ajit's Story
Ajit is a second-year undergraduate who has been feeling lonely in these tough times. Even before the quarantine started, he felt isolated on the campus; the quarantine has even increased his insecurities. He thinks he had no friends on the campus and he cannot connect with his few friends in the city.
Ajit has gone through many things in his two years of stay on the campus. He has felt alone and rejected; eventually, it took a toll on him and affected his self-esteem. Academic performance, a competitive and demanding environment, and an inability to communicate with others are some of the factors that can affect our self-esteem.
Coping Mechanisms
Facing problems that are beyond our hands can be difficult, but we can try to deal with the situation patiently. We would like to quote Paulo Coelho:
"We warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how."
Here are some coping mechanisms that may be of help to people in these tough times:
- Dealing with anxiety: Practice breathing slowly for a few minutes. Try to distance the thoughts that are making you anxious. Think of something calm and slow down your mind.
- Managing anger: Calm your mind, count back from 10 to 1, and distract yourself.
- Overcoming loneliness: Stay connected with others. Communication can help you connect with family and friends. Call up friends whom you haven't spoken to in a long time and surprise them. Discuss joyful events, shared interests, exchange cooking tips, share music, etc.
- Handling negative thoughts: Switch to writing or talking and ask questions like: What is under my control? Am I unnecessarily worrying about the worst thing that can happen? When I have been stressed in the past, how have I managed? What are the things I can do to help myself and to cope with the situation?
It is rightly said:
"The times are testing us to our full potential, but we must be strong. It might be stormy now but it can't rain forever."